What now? 

A young man sent me a DM. He is 17. His white friend, his teammate, took me on regarding Black Lives Matter on Twitter.I didn’t entertain him (I don’t debate trolls or kids, block and go).  But I watched them converse. I watched him call his friend out. Then watched his friend backpedal and stumble over his words. He messaged me confused and sad. His white friends, the ones he believed cared about him, keep outing themselves. They keep showing him they don’t see the humanity of black people, they were down to be friends until his blackness was on the table. I didn’t know what to tell him. What do you do when at 17 the illusion breaks down in front of you? That young man is a stranger to me, but I can relate to his experience. We all can. Every young black person is seeing people taking sides and watching a lot of people they believed to care pick the other side. We’re angry. Hurt. Sad. The lights came on when George Zimmerman murdered Trayvon Martin, and more people than we could imagine were pointing at Trayvon instead of Zimmerman.  

This election season, mixed with the racially charged conversations can’t be undone. PC Culture isn’t going away. Women, the LGBTQ community and racial minorities are upset. The spirit of the 1960’s has found a place in 2016, fueled by the Internet to hit a speed never before seen. Last time the movement was killed by the murder of leaders and the infection of crack and heroin in poor communities. I don’t see that happening again. Young black kids wanting equality aren’t going away. Angry white people demanding they be quiet aren’t going away. We’re watching a car crash, but the pile up won’t stop. We keep looking to the election to put a halt on the carnage. 

When the votes come out in November, do we all take a breather and forget? What do we do when the smoke clears and Hillary is our leader (I dare not speak into existence the idea of Trump winning). Does she mend these deep wounds? Can she? I don’t see it. Those Facebook statuses and tweets can’t be undone. The Trump stickers and signs can’t be unseen. And the “what about black on black crime” and “cops do have it hard” can’t be taken back. These cuts hurt. I know I’ll rebound, and so will that young man. But rebounding isn’t forgetting. Cuts leave scars, and scars usually come with lessons. Racial innocence can’t be restored, and a generation (from 13 to 30) just had the glass shattered.

Don’t ask me for solutions. I don’t have them. I’m still mourning our post-racial illusion. 

“Visions of Martin Luther starin at me. If I see it how he seen it that would make my parents happy. Sorry mama I can’t turn the other cheek. They wanna knock me off the edge like a fucking widow’s peak.”

-Kendrick Lamar, HiiiPower 

“Dreams of reality’s peace, blow steam in the face of the beast. The sky can fall down, the wind can cry now, the strong in me I still smile. I love myself.”

-Kendrick Lamar, i

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We Matter! Checking In: July 7, 2016.

I’ve sifted through a lot of thoughts, reading, I’ve talked to various people, and tweeted through a lot of frustrations. I don’t have an eloquent vocalizing of my feelings. They’re too scattered, loud and angry. Here’s what I’ve worked out though:

*Black people feel free to skip 1 and 2. Or don’t, you’re already here*

1. If your goal is to derail conversations about the oppression of people of color, black people specifically, to shout All Lives Matter or explain to me the “other side” (which I’ve heard 1000 times, trust me you’re not special or unique, sorry) go away. I have no energy left to explain why the agents of the state should stop lynching us, nor how we got here. Use Google. Bring it to me, and that block button is swift. 

2. Read something. Honestly, listen to black people. We have 400 years of black people explaining our oppression. “What about black on black crime?” isn’t original. It is rhetoric. It dates back to our emancipation. Read. Learn. Go listen to a black person, seriously. Don’t defend yourself or center the white experience, listen and believe us because our humanity should be enough for our voices and feelings to matter. We matter. 

3. The timing of these 3 deaths is significant. Context always matters. Shortly after Jesse Williams delivered a powerful speech on how tired we are of being abused, 3 black men, 3 black fathers are taken. 2 in front of their children. Context matters.

4. I’m angry. I’m also scared, and sad. It’s complex. Remember we are all complex people and thus our feelings are complex. I have a right to feel. Nobody can tell me I can’t cry. Nobody can tell me I can’t be angry at the police. They don’t get to do that. We all have a right to feel and grieve. Contrary to the American narrative, it is not our job to forgive anything or anybody. If somebody chooses to, that’s their right as well. 

5. This doesn’t feel like freedom. The demonization of black people for things people don’t deem respectable is played and boring. We didn’t deserve nor ask for this. It isn’t on the oppressed to comfort our oppressor to paraphrase Jesse. We don’t have to explain black on black crime. Nor are we obligated to pull up our pants, stop dancing or turn down our music. We are Americans like everybody else, probably more so, regardless of if blackness is respectable. Keep yourself safe, we all know the rules. Don’t be reckless to be reckless, but don’t apologize either. 

6. We are not the crazy ones. Don’t let the derailing, the backlash and the bullshit make you believe this is anything but oppression by an oppressor. We are not crazy for demanding equality, they are crazy for not seeing our humanity. 

“How we still slaves in 2016?”

-Jay-Z, We Got the Keys
“Somebody tell these motherfuckers keep their hands off me. I ain’t a motherfuckin slave keep your chains off me.”

-Vic Mensa, 16 Shots